I've been in a bit of a vulnerability hangover since last week when I officially launched this (mostly finished) writing website. What if it's not professional enough? What if it's TOO professional and says I'm something that maybe I'm not. Or not...yet? THEN there's the whole asking for money-for-writing part of it. I'm asking for subscriptions and putting some of my more precious words behind a (oh God) pay wall. I'm throwing in a bunch of other perks, too: untrustworthy horoscopes, movie reviews, book recommendations, excerpts from the book I'll never, ever finish, and more. Most of me knows that $5/month (or $4.17/month, if you take the $50/year deal) is a VERY reasonable cost for what I'm offering, but still, Jebus on a cracker, it's tough for me to ask for money for my work. I think I had been a Physician Assistant for seven years before I felt comfortable negotiating for a salary, confident in my ability to improve practices, outcomes, lives, with my skills. Prior to that, I felt like I owed my employer gratitude (and obedience) for being duped into hiring me and paying me whatever they saw fit. Yeah, I know. It's problematic. It might be gender-related, might be generational, might just be my insecurity, anxiety, imposter syndrome shit. IN ANY CASE, even in that environment where you can point to what's billed on your behalf, what money you're making for the organization, how much time you're saving other providers, the satisfaction of your patients, etc-real, tangible data that stresses your value, I STILL doubted myself. Now, as a writer...as an artist...to ask for money for whatever the fuck it is I'm trying to give the world is back to square-one terror. SO, all that is to say, thank you to those of you who have started this venture with me financially. I swear that I WILL show up for you, in your inboxes and in your hearts. I'll keep writing the honest, real, funny, scary stuff, and you please keep reading it. You're making it possible for me to continue to hone my voice and focus on my goals, and I'm incredibly grateful. And in the event that you need your uterus removed, I might could do that, too. ;) Not really. I am now staying home behind my computer, so the best I can do is walk you step-by-step through the process of removing your own uterus. (I don't recommend it, though. Go to a real hospital or surgical center with a real in-person provider. You'll get jello when you wake up.) SO ANYWAY, thank you, thank you, thank you. I'm still figuring out how all the logistics of the site works and to make it as user-friendly as possible, so if you're getting TOO MANY or NONE emails, please let me know and I'll fix it. If you signed up for the mailing list, you should be getting to see some but not all of the posts on the site because I'm sneaky like that. If you've subscribed for real live American dollars, you should be able to see it all. Things I plan to release to subscribers this week:
-Review of the movie franchise Jaws, from the '70s and '80s, specifically on how short the shorts were (very)
-Review of Marvel's Black Widow
-Review of author Louise Penny's Inspector Gamache murder mystery book series
-An excerpt from my book, a really juicy part.
-Thoughts on Women's Fiction
Thank you for your you-ness and we'll talk more soon!
(If you're looking to subscribe or HAVE subscribed and need to log-in, you should be able to find that all on the home page. If you can't I've failed and please let me know)
