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Sex is Funner After Forty
I've been hearing that magical shift that happens after forty for decades. I had friends who swore once they turned forty, they stopped...

Sarah Z.
Aug 11, 20234 min read
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Parenting: The Power and the Pain
My heart hurts all the time, and I'm told that's normal when you're a parent. I worry, I fear, I struggle, I put everything I have into...

Sarah Z.
Nov 27, 20225 min read
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So I Guess I'm a Burlesque Dancer Now?
I now have video proof of what I look like when dancing topless. It's not great. "Oh, God, that's me?!" BUT I'm trying REALLY hard to see...

Sarah Z.
Oct 11, 20224 min read
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Sleeping It Off
I'm sitting on a hotel bed, surrounded by leftover containers and coffee mugs. The continental breakfast included miso soup and kimchi...

Sarah Z.
Sep 25, 20223 min read
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My Dearest Loved Ones: I'm Sorry for My Fatness
I thought it was just me. It's never just me. My muffin top ate my undies. (My tattoo is a crowned heart- means compassion + power) A...

Sarah Z.
Jul 3, 20224 min read
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How to Be a Girl 101: The Trip to Ulta
As I walked out of the house, I hollered, "K, bye, going to Sephora to get all my fancy lady supplies" and my husband called back, "I...

Sarah Z.
Feb 27, 20224 min read
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10 Things That Stop Me From Being My Sexy, Powerful Self
On being 'Wanted' Versus 'Wantable,' and 'Loved' Versus 'Lovable' So, I’ve been thinking a lot lately about sense of...
info9013468
Feb 23, 20223 min read
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Anyone Doing Dry January? Dry 2022? Dry Life?
Between my 39th and 40th birthdays, I abstained from alcohol. I realized how much I’d been using it to try to dull anxiety in charged...

Sarah Z.
Jan 7, 20221 min read
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It's Come to My Attention That I've Scared Everyone Off of Surgery, Haha Oops
Ok, so I worked in surgery for over a decade and have always been a cheerleader for it. Now that I've gone under the knife my ownself for...

Sarah Z.
Oct 12, 20212 min read
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Impatient Patient Gets a Wound Vac
I got a wound vac yesterday on the worst of my two gaping postop boob holes. It's a medical device that maintains constant suction...

Sarah Z.
Sep 30, 20213 min read
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Sarah Z.
Sep 23, 20210 min read
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Excerpt from My Book! (It's About Running and Pie)
On her way home that afternoon, Johanna stopped to get running shoes at an athletic store. She had never been a runner and still loathed...

Sarah Z.
Sep 23, 20214 min read
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Tattoo Ideas for My Tits (And More Nightmarish Pics!)
Sorry/not sorry that all I can write about lately is my breasts. I'm now fifteen days post-op breast reduction and I have a raging wound...

Sarah Z.
Sep 5, 20212 min read
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Slinging Our Marriage Vows like Monkeys Flinging Poo
I'm two weeks from my breast reduction and still dealing with a nasty wound infection. This is my exhausted husband, about to drench that...
info9013468
Sep 3, 20213 min read
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Postop Day 5, Breast Redux
Fixing my boobs seems to have broken my brain. When will I feel and look good, again? 2030? I'm an impatient patient. (Photo by Laker...
info9013468
Aug 25, 20213 min read
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If a "Boob Job" is an Augmentation, Than I'm Getting a "Boob Vacation"
Here's the weird thing about being the owner of a massive pair of tots: they're extremely uncomfortable, but everyone tells you you're...
info9013468
Aug 3, 20214 min read
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