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Sex is Funner After Forty
I've been hearing that magical shift that happens after forty for decades. I had friends who swore once they turned forty, they stopped...

Sarah Z.
Aug 11, 20234 min read


Parenting: The Power and the Pain
My heart hurts all the time, and I'm told that's normal when you're a parent. I worry, I fear, I struggle, I put everything I have into...

Sarah Z.
Nov 27, 20225 min read


So I Guess I'm a Burlesque Dancer Now?
I now have video proof of what I look like when dancing topless. It's not great. "Oh, God, that's me?!" BUT I'm trying REALLY hard to see...

Sarah Z.
Oct 11, 20224 min read


Sleeping It Off
I'm sitting on a hotel bed, surrounded by leftover containers and coffee mugs. The continental breakfast included miso soup and kimchi...

Sarah Z.
Sep 25, 20223 min read


My Dearest Loved Ones: I'm Sorry for My Fatness
I thought it was just me. It's never just me. My muffin top ate my undies. (My tattoo is a crowned heart- means compassion + power) A...

Sarah Z.
Jul 3, 20224 min read


How to Be a Girl 101: The Trip to Ulta
As I walked out of the house, I hollered, "K, bye, going to Sephora to get all my fancy lady supplies" and my husband called back, "I...

Sarah Z.
Feb 27, 20224 min read


10 Things That Stop Me From Being My Sexy, Powerful Self
On being 'Wanted' Versus 'Wantable,' and 'Loved' Versus 'Lovable' So, I’ve been thinking a lot lately about sense of...
info9013468
Feb 23, 20223 min read


Anyone Doing Dry January? Dry 2022? Dry Life?
Between my 39th and 40th birthdays, I abstained from alcohol. I realized how much I’d been using it to try to dull anxiety in charged...

Sarah Z.
Jan 7, 20221 min read


It's Come to My Attention That I've Scared Everyone Off of Surgery, Haha Oops
Ok, so I worked in surgery for over a decade and have always been a cheerleader for it. Now that I've gone under the knife my ownself for...

Sarah Z.
Oct 12, 20212 min read


Impatient Patient Gets a Wound Vac
I got a wound vac yesterday on the worst of my two gaping postop boob holes. It's a medical device that maintains constant suction...

Sarah Z.
Sep 30, 20213 min read



Sarah Z.
Sep 23, 20210 min read


Excerpt from My Book! (It's About Running and Pie)
On her way home that afternoon, Johanna stopped to get running shoes at an athletic store. She had never been a runner and still loathed...

Sarah Z.
Sep 23, 20214 min read


Tattoo Ideas for My Tits (And More Nightmarish Pics!)
Sorry/not sorry that all I can write about lately is my breasts. I'm now fifteen days post-op breast reduction and I have a raging wound...

Sarah Z.
Sep 5, 20212 min read


Slinging Our Marriage Vows like Monkeys Flinging Poo
I'm two weeks from my breast reduction and still dealing with a nasty wound infection. This is my exhausted husband, about to drench that...
info9013468
Sep 3, 20213 min read


Postop Day 5, Breast Redux
Fixing my boobs seems to have broken my brain. When will I feel and look good, again? 2030? I'm an impatient patient. (Photo by Laker...
info9013468
Aug 25, 20213 min read


If a "Boob Job" is an Augmentation, Than I'm Getting a "Boob Vacation"
Here's the weird thing about being the owner of a massive pair of tots: they're extremely uncomfortable, but everyone tells you you're...
info9013468
Aug 3, 20214 min read
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